SO when I found the silver lining in this scenario, I had to get it in writing...
I walked into the bathroom here at work and both urinals were... unflushed. I thought to chase the perp down with a bottle of Gatorade because he was indeed dehydrated. But instead, I just flushed both, for sanitary reasons, and then chose one.
While I was washing my hands, I thought: Hey, at a guy who is that nasty didn’t touch the handle that I just touched. :)
Silver lining found.